STOP EATING “GARNISHED ROTTING RAT”: WHY WE LOWER OUR STANDARDS IN THE NAME OF LOVE

STOP EATING “GARNISHED  ROTTING RAT”: WHY WE LOWER OUR STANDARDS IN THE NAME OF LOVE 

Most of us walk around with boundaries. We’re strong at work. We say no to disrespect from strangers. We keep our standards high when dealing with friends or business.

But when it comes to relationships, something strange happens.

We go blank.

We lower our guard.

We let people treat us beneath our standards, just so we can keep the relationship.

We call that love.

But is it really love?

The Five-Star Restaurant Test

Imagine walking into a five-star restaurant. Everything looks elegant. The music is soft. The tablecloths are crisp white. Then the waiter serves you a plate of rotting rat  stinking, decomposing  but garnished with herbs and flowers.

Would you eat it? Or would you walk away?

Now imagine the person who invited you  your “lover”  is staring at you, waiting for you to take a bite. Many people in relationships do exactly that: they smile sheepishly and swallow something poisonous to their soul because they don’t want to offend, because they’re afraid of losing what they think they have.

The Real Reasons We Stay

People stay in unhealthy relationships not because they don’t know better but because:

It feels good sometimes. There are moments of pleasure, affection, or gifts that feel like highs.

Fear of loneliness. You’ve been alone before and you don’t want to go back.

Fear of rejection. You’ve invested so much emotionally that walking away feels like failure.

Scarcity mindset. “It took me so long to find someone who ‘loves’ me; what if this is the best I’ll ever get?”

But no amount of gifts, attention, or companionship can make rotting food safe to eat.

Love vs. Attachment

True love uplifts. It doesn’t require you to betray yourself. It doesn’t ask you to shrink or stay silent in order to “keep the peace.”

Attachment, on the other hand, is about fear  fear of losing what you have, fear of being alone, fear of not being chosen again.

If you’re sacrificing your health, dignity, and self-respect in the name of “love,” you’re not in love. You’re in a trap disguised as a relationship.

How to Stop Eating “Rotting Rat”

1. Name what’s happening. Don’t sugarcoat disrespect or manipulation. Call it what it is.

2. Re-establish your standards. Write down what you will and will not accept  in behaviour, communication, and respect.

3. Listen to your body and conscience. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust that instinct.

4. Face your fears. Loneliness and rejection are painful, but they are not fatal. Losing yourself is.

5. Choose self-respect over temporary comfort. Walking away from what harms you creates space for what will heal you.

A Final Word

No one would eat a garnished rotting rat at a five-star restaurant just to please their dinner companion. Yet so many swallow emotional poison every day to please their partner.

Love is not about suffering to prove your loyalty. Love is about building something healthy with someone who honours you. If you have to betray yourself to keep someone else, you’re not keeping love  you’re keeping fear.

💬 Your turn:

Have you ever stayed in a relationship you knew was wrong because of fear or comfort? How did you find the courage to leave or change it? Share your story below  it might give someone else the strength to stop “eating the rotting rat.”