WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LOVE YOU ; THEY JUST NEED YOU

WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LOVE YOU ; THEY JUST NEED YOU 

Have you ever had that quiet, sinking feeling that someone’s affection for you might not be real? That their warm words, sweet gestures, and endless “I need you” texts aren’t rooted in genuine love, but in what you do for them?

This isn’t paranoia. It’s a painful truth many of us discover:

Sometimes people don’t actually love you. They simply know you’re a good person and they need you around.

They love your kindness, your giving spirit, your loyalty. They love that you listen without judgment, that you show up, that you’re their safe place. But if you stripped away the benefits, the emotional labor, the support… would they still be there?

The Raw Reality

Real love isn’t about convenience. It’s not about what someone can extract from you. Real love exists even when you have nothing to give when you’re tired, sick, broke, or simply not at your best.

But transactional “love” fades the moment you stop being useful.

Many of us confuse being needed with being loved. Being needed feels flattering; it makes you feel indispensable. But it can also trap you in one-sided relationships where you’re the giver, healer, or rescuer and they’re the taker.

A Hard but Necessary Shift

The truth is, people who genuinely love you will:

Celebrate your boundaries instead of punishing you for them.

Offer support even when you’re not benefiting them.

See your worth beyond your usefulness.

When you realise some people keep you around only for their gain, it hurts. But it also frees you to build relationships based on respect, reciprocity, and real care.

Protecting Your Heart Without Closing It

This doesn’t mean you should become cold or cynical. Being good is your strength, not your weakness. But it does mean:

Learn to differentiate between appreciation and exploitation.

Don’t confuse loyalty with self-abandonment.

Don’t shrink your kindness sharpen your discernment.

You can still be generous, but you don’t have to let everyone feed off your light.

Questions for You

I’d love to hear your thoughts:

Have you ever realised someone was keeping you around not out of love but because you were useful? How did you handle it?

How do you personally tell the difference between being genuinely loved and being needed?

What boundaries have helped you protect your heart without becoming bitter?

Your stories and tips might help someone else reading this who’s quietly going through the same thing. Comment below, share your experience, or follow this blog so we can keep having these raw, real conversations together.